When Parkinson’s entered my life, it brought an uninvited guest along with it: Parkinson’s me.
Parkinson’s me follows me everywhere and is part of everything I do. Most of the time, she quietly stays in the background. Other times, she is overwhelming, to the point where putting on my brave face becomes exhausting. Until recently, I didn’t always like Parkinson’s me, but I’m trying to understand her instead of simply being afraid of her.
Parents with early onset Parkinson’s are in the busiest times of their lives. Any situation can become stressful and trigger symptoms. Despite my best efforts, Parkinson’s me tends to arrive front and center. It’s not uncommon for her to have a completely irrational response to things. Indeed, anxiety and Parkinson’s are good friends often seen together. Their relationship manifests as a nonmotor symptom that, when overlooked, can be debilitating, frustrating, and embarrassing.
I feel helpless when Parkinson’s affects my ability to parent my child. Parkinson’s me always seems to arrive when my kid needs me — at tryouts, auditions, school functions, and other crowded events. For example, Parkinson’s me accompanied my son to a crowded audition, complete with tremors and a feeling of panic. My son put his hands on my shoulders and said, “Mom, I’ve got this. You can go.”
I was embarrassed and felt horrible for leaving, but he was right to send Parkinson’s me on her way. Rather than being embarrassed by what I could not do as a parent, I should have been proud of my son’s confidence and his ability to handle this situation and many others.
If we’re open about Parkinson’s and willing to talk to them about our diagnosis, kids are incredibly perceptive and resilient. In my opinion, we should help them understand Parkinson’s so they are not afraid of it.
Ultimately, we are still their parents. We just happen to have Parkinson’s.
If you find yourself embarrassed by your disease as a parent, stop and ask yourself the following questions: Did you get the job done? Was your kid strong and confident? The answers will be “yes” because you are a parent. Your kid knows that you don’t quit.
You may stumble and fall, but you will always get up. They are confident that you will be there for them, which is a direct result of your efforts, despite the challenges that come with Parkinson’s.
It is not easy to admit, but Parkinson’s me actually can get the job done. The job is just done differently, and that’s OK.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.